Monday, October 30, 2006

Marie Antoinette

Executive Producer, pitching this movie to studio exec: What I really love about this project is that the first 50 minutes of the movie revolve around someone NOT wanting to have sex with Kirsten Dunst. It's genius.

Studio Exec: That sounds great! Here's 10 million dollars. Don't worry about a plot, either.

So, this movie is boring. There's no payoff to either of the build-ups in the film: waiting around for Kirsten Dunst to get boinked by the King, and waiting around for their heads to get chopped off. Both these things happen offscreen, so...what is this movie about? I don't know. A lot of languid arms draped over really nice furniture...a horrendous (high concept?) montage of shoes and cake while blaring "I Want Candy".

I thought Sofia Coppola was racist for not developing a single Japanese character in Lost in Translation. Now I realize that she just cannot develop character. This movie is like that movie, only without Bill Murray to hold everything up, and this time, not a single French character is developed (Marie Antoinette is Austrian).

I dunno. The whole thing should be stupid and boring, and it is, but the film only tries to be pretty and inconsequential, and at that it succeeds.

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