from surly to sultry

Meth users are not a pretty sight

Yo, how bummed out would you be to be this woman's daughter? I mean, sure, identity theft and its limitless riches just bought your ice-cream (which is melting quickly away, like all your other happiness), but your mom permanently looks like she is receiving instructions from some voice out-of-frame. Like, "Hey fellow playgrounders, this is my mom; yeah, right now she's listening to that dog across the street, but she is taking me to get my ears pierced. Rad!"

The best thing about this article is the descriptions of night-time meth users, which makes them sound like raccoons ("the wolverines of the garbage"), but also has that wonderfully Dantean irony (contrapasso) in which one's use of a drug is repaid in all its *reverse* attributes: like, you start taking meth so that you can do all the things you don't have time to do in this workaday world, lose weight, pick your face-- you know, all the glamour of meth. But THEN, in whatever circle of hell this would be, you end up staying up all night going through people's mail looking for credit card numbers.

Like Scientology, then, meth is this total bait-and-switch where, if you knew what you were getting into at first, no one would ever get into it. Like, "Hey man, wanna spend 86 straight hours awake looking at strings of numbers on the internet?! It'll be ILL!"

Thus ends my comparison of Scientology, Dante's Inferno, and meth use.

--- A while ago, I went to apply for a room transfer at the University housing office, and when the woman told me I couldn't until October, I guess I made a frowny face and was told something to the effect of "that won't work here" or "you best stop that." Lesson: adults don't make frowny faces.
--- Let's go see The Apartment, Sabrina, and The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes this week/end. It promises to show what Holmes and Watson were "really like," if you know what I'm sayin'. Also, I'm siked for Sabrina b/c I bet they call that doe-eyed waif "that dopey kid" a bunch of times.
--- Please leave comments if you know of any more bait-and-switch schemes. However, please do not post the entire text of Faust.
--- Never believe anything but Fucked Up LP leak